A Prayer for Jesus

I have become slightly addicted to coffee these days. With the third pregnancy, not only does caffeine become something you don’t worry about, but you down-right need it! And so, I’ve become delighted by the smell of it brewing and knowing some relaxation/energy is about to come! As I sat checking my email this morning, a situation had made me very sad involving a friend of mine, and really a mindset in general that I’ve found myself combating of late. I told Maron over breakfast that I was very sad, and I tried to hold the tears in as she sat with me. Sometimes there’s just that crying you need to do alone. As I continued to sit alone, she came in and said, “Mommy, I want to pray for Jesus.” You wish you had a tape recorder for these absolutely special, precious moments, to be able to remember what they said word for word. I’ll do my best. I explained to her that she couldn’t pray for Jesus, but she could pray to Him and I would do it with her. It went something like this: “Jesus, thank you for my sticker ….for my mommy and my daddy for Jackson and me, and for my Christmas tree. I pray for Jackson that you would help him when he cries to take away all the monsters when he cries in my room and it’s cold in my room. And thank you for my new brother or sister. I pray for daddy that you would make him strong and healthy and for mommy that she would be strong and healthy and eat. In Jesus name, Amen.” Before I get to the really heartfelt stuff, I must say that for Maron to pray that her 17-weeks-pregnant mom would eat is slightly amusing. My friends are running out of food from my visits! I began to cry like a little baby, which of course prompted another prayer by Maron later! This morning when this happened, was Maron’s first real prayer. For some reason, she has always been embarrassed to pray, even just home alone with me. I think not knowing what to say being coupled with the expectations of the person listening to your prayer has made her very shy. So many thoughts ran through my head as she did this, those producing the tears. I think first of all, the tears that already needed to come as a result of the situation with my friend were finally able to, and then the wonder of all the prayers that I have prayed with/for Maron coming to reality was so awe-inspiring. You pray that they will grow up and trust in the Lord with all their heart and live for Him, and to see that little mind starting to get a taste of what that looks like through prayer, is wonderful. She of course, repeated some words I use every day, and it may very well be that it was simply the kind of role-playing children do, but whatever the case, it is a step towards her knowing how to pray, and realizing how important it is for everything in our lives! And most importantly, I’ve been thinking so much lately about how bi-polar Maron’s mom must seem. One minute I’m praying, teaching her something about Jesus – the next minute I’m yelling at her and impatient. So continually I wonder and ask myself, is anything good I’m doing (which is only because of Him by the way) really going to sink in amidst all the sin she sees in my life? So, to hear this little prayer comforted my heart, and showed me, God can indeed use a sinner like me! I have prayed so often for humility, and see more and more each day how God uses such simple things to produce it. Praise be to Him, and pray to Him always.