Hello again world – finally!
Just as you take fewer pictures of the subsequent children after child number one, your Blog posts also become fewer and farther between! I hope to be back to writing more now as we have finally settled in with our third addition to our family, sweet Katie!
She is Katherine Ann Michelle Maes: Named for Katharina von Bora, beloved wife of Martin Luther; Ann Barber, my sweet, serving, loving friend; and Michael Maes, deceased and beloved grandfather to my children, father-in-law to me, and father of my husband Bryan Michael Maes. She looks so much like Bryan’s dad, which I find ironic and so special, as we named her as a memorial to him. I know he would be completely soaking up her smiles if he were here, and letting her suck on his pinky until she fell peacefully asleep.
Katie entered our lives on the 18th of October, 2008 @ 8:43pm. She weighed 7 lbs., 2.8 oz., and was 18.5 in. long. She became a treasure we awaited, at a time we did not expect, and is a blessing we can’t imagine living without.
My pregnancy with Katie was relatively uneventful, and she, by God’s grace is so healthy, and happy. Our C-section with Jackson was not expected, and as the time approached to have Katie, my hopes of a normal delivery not requiring sugery, were high and I hoped and prayed for the best. By God’s grace, we were able to receive wonderful care during the pregnancy, and while a few times pre-ecclampsia seemed to be a scare, it seemed to stay at bay and to perhaps be a problem we would not have to weather again as with Jackson.
Then, I got the phone call. The levels from my tests were so dangerous, I had to immediately go to the hospital. As my body was not prepared to have Katie naturally, or in a healthy condition for induction, we had to have an emergency C-section, something I was not expecting, that caused me a lot of dissapointment. My husband remedied this for me in two ways: 1.) He found an episode of The Office on hulu.com called “Baby Shower” and showed it to me; 2.) He prayed that God would show me grace and that I would heal quickly and well. Both things I will always remember, because not only was the episode hilarious and a wonderful way to relax a tense situation, but God answered our prayer exceedingly abundantly above all we could have asked or imagined! With Jackson, two or three weeks after having him I was still so uncomfortable and unable to do so much. With Katie – I was at church a week after she was born and already feeling amazing right away, with the exception of a few really, really hard, painful days. Thank you Lord for Your grace! Katie is such a happy, sweet little girl. What has made our children so happy, only God knows. I fail every day to be a mother worthy of Him, and yet our children are all so content and peaceful for the most part (trust me, I don’t mean every day or every moment!).
There is much that I have learned already and been reminded of with three children – whew!
1.) Each child is so precious and unique in their own way – they are God’s creation and He is an amazing creator!
2.) You have to stay on top of things as best as you can - when things get out of control and unorganized with three children, it may be a year before things even out again! 
3.) Remember that you can’t and won’t always stay on top of things. Staying on top of discipline, showing the children love, nourishing and cherishing them is far more important than an organized home – if you don’t do that, it may be more than a year before things get evened out – they may never even out again.
4.) Nursing is a huge commitment – and nothing could be a better way to have to stop, rest, and enjoy your child. It’s so hard, but so worth it!
5.) Happy hearts and full bellies can happen even in a dirty house where things are chaotic – and things will be!
6.) It’s a good idea to minimize the commitments you have to anything else besides your family. They are most important, and a lot of stress and chaos can be eliminated by not putting too much on your plate that doesn’t need to be there. There will be time for entertaining others, parties, and attending other functions at other times. This time, as your children grow, you will never get back again.
7.) Sunday morning preparation requires a lot more than it once did! It’s a good idea to eliminate or at least lesson the amount of activities on Saturday nights, and if nothing else, to get to bed at a really decent hour. Bry and I strive to get the kids bathed and everyone’s clothes laid out on Saturday nights to minimize stress! It doesn’t always happen, but it sure is helpful when it does!
8.) Your spouse is your best friend, and greatest helper in this time of high demand and the business of childrearing. You must be a system of support in which you both strive to help the other, and share in the responsibilities, while keeping expectations low.
9.) Keep expectations low. Expect that some days, the most you will get done is keeping everyone fed and changed, and perhaps a little tiny bit of time for you. Expect difficulty, and be PLEASANTLY SURPRISED when it is easier than you thought, and the day goes very smoothly, and you accomplish a lot!
10.) Remember God is gracious and merciful. He gives us what we need when we ask it of Him. When you feel parenting or having another child is impossible, remember that with God all things are possible.
11.) You may have been able to hide some of your stress with child one and child two – you may have been able to make it appear as though you really are that wonderful perfect little parent everyone says you are. When number three comes along – you’ll be crying in your soup, and know what it means to pray for God’s strength because you are not supermom!
12.) If you don’t have time or strength for much else, just chase your children around the house threatening to tickle them. It means as much to them if not more than hours of undivided attention!
13.) Just as your strength will be put to the test with three children, proving you are not supermom, so will your righteousness. You will be further strained, and therefore unable to hide those weaknesses and sins which are easier to hide with less testing of your patience taking place.
14.) Don’t compare yourself to other mothers in a self-condemning way. You may only be able to make processed food for your family to eat, and your house may always be a complete disaster, but remember, Christ is far more concerned with righteousness and obedience to Him than pristine living conditions in which strife and wrath are present. Obey God, honor your husband.
15.) Compare yourself to other mothers in a healthy way. Learn from other mothers what has worked for them, and find exciting, new ways to accomplish everything, or at least a few things on your list, as well as discovering what behaviors you may have that are inhibiting your growth, well-being, and success as a blessed home-maker and mother.
16.) Home is not a building. It is your family.
17.) I am too much of a people pleaser. I want my house clean and pristine oftentimes because I want people to think I have it all “together”. I think people value cleanliness more than I should – it is a happy home and happy children that people want/need more of!
18.) The early bird (or mom) gets the worm. Although I often fail to do this because I am so tired, I have found SO much grace and strengthening by getting up an hour or two before the children to accomplish things before the herd of elephants come to the door wanting breakfast! Having a head start is an important part of my well-being. Being prepared makes everything easier.
19.) I can’t imagine not having more of these precious angels.
20.) I am compleely unworthy of these little angels. With all I have said and done, and failed to say and do, I deserve nothing of what I have. I ask my friends and loved ones for their forgiveness in all the many ways I sin against them, and I press on hoping to raise children who will do better in their lifetime than I have done in mine.
Priorities |
I hope my children look back on today,
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I would like to dedicate this post to my Husband, Bryan Michael Maes:
You are my Husband, my lover, father of our children, my best friend, my greatest human comforter, the person without whom none of my accomplishments would be possible, and the one who encourages me to hang in there and keep persevering every day, the person who reminds me what matters, doesn’t care what other people think, can uplift me in my darkest hours, and who daily reminds me what God values, and what forgiveness looks like when I am a less-than-honorable vessel. I love you Bryan, thanks or putting up with me.
~your wife, Rachel
Posted by Sarah on December 28, 2008 at 11:20 pm
So good to have you back, dear friend. However, I can understand, blogging is not necessarily in the interest of Eternity : ) As usual. thank you for your raw and yet humbled writing. I found myself convicted of your words once again. Still wanting to visit with you! Still wanting to hold that sweet Katie too. Love you Rach!
Posted by Ann on December 31, 2008 at 2:17 pm
Hey Rachel!
So good to hear from you again in the blogworld. I have missed your transparency. It is much appreciated! I will take any advice from a Godly friend who has gone before with three. So glad to hear you are all doing well!
Love ya-Ann
Posted by Nicole on March 23, 2009 at 10:38 am
Great post! As a mother of two, there is so much here that I agree with